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Last Updated: 02/16/04 The Lighter Side & Other Humorous Stories

We'll be adding some articles of interest that you guys have been sending us.


“The knuckleheads secret mission”

Over the years I have recounted this experience a number of times to family, friends and others not intending to offend anybody, but merely to share this experience that was not uncommon at the time, nor particularly special, but to me, it was just rather comical thinking back about it. Do I think this is still going on today? Sure, why? Who knows or cares?

The following incident occurred somewhere in the Atlantic along the east coast between Charleston, South Carolina and Guantanamo Bay, Cuba in the 1950s. The main characters in this incident were three still wet behind the ears, fresh from Boot Camp on their first sea duty experience and a seasoned first-class Machinists-Mate [The head enlisted man in the after Engine room] whose first name was John.

The three young recruits, as I recall, were “Ike”, “Pollock” and me. Well --- we had been at sea only a couple of days when John [MM1] called his three new knuckleheads to perform a much-needed service. He instructed us “I want you 3 knuckleheads to take this Emergency gasoline powered smoke removal machine (I know it had a better name, but I can’t recall it) … back to my point …. “I want you three knuckleheads to tote this machine topside, back to the fan-tail and down the foremost hatch and secure it in the storage room below, and if it should fall overboard --- don’t sweat it.”

The three of us strained and pulled the heavy machine up the seemingly never-ending ladder to fresh air and then down the side of the ship to the storage compartment as we were instructed, we thought. When we returned to the after Engine room with a feeling of “mission accomplished.” John greeted us with the same endearing terms “knuckleheads did you do as I asked?” When we assured him that it was now safely secured in the after compartment, he wasn’t at all happy with our answer and had us repeat his orders, with special emphasis on the part that we didn’t comprehend …. and that was “if it should fall overboard --- don’t sweat it.”

So … we immediately went to the fan-tail and lugged the heavy piece of #@!&% to the deck and threw it overboard. [Deep-Sixed it I believe was the term]

Note: all names have been changed in order to protect them from prosecution and further persecution.

Editors footnote:  If you think you might know who these people were --- let me hear from you by e-mail at the address below, but don't spread it around or who knows what terrible thing might happen to you. [lol]

Feel free to send us humorous articles  while you served on board the Happy H  or whatever.

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